Thursday, October 26, 2006

entry: 5857

I feel like my ship has hit a sandbar.
the idea of 7 more months of school seems like an impossible feat.
sometimes i'd rather walk off the plank into a feisty group of sharks.
the more time i spend in educational institutions the more i am convinced
that some people just do not belong in them.
I'm beginning to hate things that i love to do.
i have no money and loads of debt.
my life is ready to set sail and the rope is still tied to the dock.

if i feel like i am being caged in, i will only want to break free.
get me out of here.

Monday, October 16, 2006

entry: 9011

weather: sunny and chilly

A stream of motivation has put a new wind in the sails of the SS Chambs
the crew and interns agree that the next month will be a busy one.
plans for tshirt and tote bag production are in the works.
hopefully will be online at before christmas.

Studio work is also going better
i have begun to focus more on a single topic....
steven jenkins.
and am please with the results so far.

The co-captain and i recently made a list of adventures we plan on taking
i am looking forward to crossing things off the list.
Autumn, is the perfect time for charting new courses.
get out your maps and compasses.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

entry: 0883

weather: doesn't know what it wants.

Yesterday was the kind of day when I wanted the rain to come.
Today, I just want it to be crisp and dry.
My hopes for the weather usually mirror my moods.
Lately I suppose I've been a grumpy captain.

But when no new discoveries are being made, taping the documentaries is on a brief hiatus, and there is no income -
it's easy to see why.

I just recalled a piece of a dream I had last night. I was hosting a gathering, and a dear friend and senior prom date
(yes we had proms in sailing school) was sitting at my kitchen table in denim overalls with no shirt. (it was a sort of theme party) and I immediately began to cry because i knew it could not be possible for him to be in my kitchen. later i listened to the messages on my phone...which was a phone i had years ago and he left me a message and at the end it said i love you.
the whole time i knew he was not alive. it was so bizarre. and it makes me miss him and his contagious laugh.

He serves as a constant reminder to me that life, indeed, is all too short. And each person should sail the open seas, and dive deep into the unknown without fear. I am convinced that the worst thing a person can do is worry so much about the future that they forget to live in the present. Enjoy everything you have, and appreciate everyone that loves you.

I usually don't like to get into telling people how they should live their lives. But I do really believe that life is a beautiful thing, and most people forget that. So if you aren't going to map out wild adventures or dive deep into the caverns of the sea, or even take a swim with some dolphins. Promise that you will at least take the time to enjoy the sea air, bask in the sweet sun, let the tide bury your feet in the sand, and wear sunscreen- because sunburned sailors are not attractive.

Monday, October 09, 2006

entry: 7727

it's been a weekend of sailing adventures for the SS Chambs.
Down to South Jersey and Philly and then back up to Queens.
Met up with some of the crew for drinks and diner food
and talked of shoes, ships, ceiling wax, cabbages and kings.

Sometime last week..
my desire to travel the seas and a few cocktails helped me to set a new course.
I mapped out a voyage to Rome.
My first mate will be accompanying me
and this will be our European Extravaganza: Part 2
Any kind of extravaganza is a good one. lets be honest here.

Needless to say, I am beside myself with excitement.
Minus my frustration with school, life is great.
the co-captain is still wonderful and I found that he makes a delicious quesadilla.
which is excellent because though i am a skilled sailor, squid extraordinaire, and manatee enthusiast
I cannot cook anything besides pancakes and macaroni and cheese..the boxed kind.
so finding a fantastic man who can cook fantastic treats is a bonus.

My obsession with Steven Jenkins has led me to ponder whether or not I should incorporate him
and my love and respect for the sea into my work.
I consider the sea to be a wonderful metaphor for Art.
Unpredictable. Constantly Changing. Mysterious. Alluring. Full of crazy things.
I would grow terribly bored in focusing on one topic or medium.
Kind of the way that I need to constantly sail from place to place.
My work may appear to have no connection but somewhere in there lies a conjunction.
At least as far as I can see....but what I see won't matter much to onlookers.
Most just want to believe they know more about the work than the artist does.
And yes, sexuality, feminine issues, and interest in anatomy are present.
but maybe I just like to draw legs and manatees.

Lets call it instinct.
I put the head of a man on the body of a pin up because i feel as though it should be there.
Maybe its my subconscious interest in gender roles. or maybe I just think it looks good.
I do not think that all art needs to be conceptual or from a deep place.
I believe that it comes from feeling, intuition- and that can encompass conceptual.
But my mind does not function that way.
I often act on impulse.
I'd like to think I construct my art in the same way.

Monday, October 02, 2006

entry 1033

weather: sunny and chilly

docked in bk once again. but it's never really for a long period of time.

had a lovely weekend between south jersey and queens.
a nice little sunday with the co-captain, kind of disappointed that we won't be crossing paths that much this week.
but i will be a busy bunny.

i'll be spending a lot of time in the studio this week. i feel as though i need to make more progress.
but really i'd rather be sailing the open seas. once this year ends, i'm going to raise my anchor and say goodbye to brooklyn.

my life after college will basically be dedicated to starting the Center for Giant Squid Studies. where folks can go to research giant squid and track steven jenkins so that he does not strike again.

i'm going to try and post picture of my work later this week.