Friday, January 19, 2007

entry: 4447

weather: sunny and pleasant.

This blog is long overdue.
the SS Chambs presents:

The Story of Steven Jenkins.

Giant squid, or Architeuthis, have long been a mystery to scientists everywhere.
Scientists have never seen their daily habits, because they are looking in the wrong place. The common misconception is, that giant squid live far down in the depths of the ocean. In fact they live on land, the same as you and I. Heck, one may even be your next door neighbor and you've probably never even noticed. Most squids are extremely polite and personable, however there is always a bad apple in the barrel.
And for this barrel of squid, Steven Jenkins is the one you do not want to meet.
There really is no explanation for his behavior, he grew up in Southern New Jersey
by the sea. His mother is a third grade social studies teacher and his father owns and runs a pizza shop on the Ocean City boardwalk. He also has an older sister named Rita, who now resides in Kyoto, Japan- also by the sea.
Perhaps we will never know the reason why he became so sneaky and mischevious-but we do know that he is.
Most people will claim that they have never encountered Jenkins,
others have not lived to tell their own tale,
and surprisingly there is a large percentage who do not even notice that giant squid are around.
But you would be surprised at how he can weasle his way into your life without even knowing it!
Have you ever put something down, looked away and when you looked back it was gone?
thats Jenkins. Did you manage to loose random items in the dryer? Jenkins too.
Has the phone rang but there was no one on the other end? Yep, you guessed it.
Those are just minor pranks he likes to pull for some fun, he can be much more lethal if he wants to be.
He will dress up in different costumes, and lure you to your death.
But , at the end of the day
he loves nothing more than a nice hot bubble bath
a bucket of fried human arms and biscuits
and a good book or movie before bed.

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